oh god the rape fog is back!
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
