what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
