so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
