yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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