dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize