And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
