I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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