Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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