found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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