There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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