quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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