My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
