so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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