After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
