East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
