i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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