We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
