i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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