I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
