We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
