? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
