how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize