Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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