I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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