I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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