turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
