Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I CAN MOONWALK!
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
