So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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