oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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