dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
