He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
