you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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