So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize