There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
