you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
