Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize