This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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