using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize