i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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