you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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