I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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