no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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