I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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