Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
