just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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