this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
