Dual....:-)
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
