My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
