You just made me feel so damn special
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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