oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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