yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize