Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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