Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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