On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
