Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize