you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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