Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
