when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
As shirtless as possible
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
