I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
