I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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