Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
