we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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