hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
