Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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