batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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