I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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