does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Mom said you looked used
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
