i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I want to fling myself into the sun
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
