i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
