I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
It was like getting head from an anaconda
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize