WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
