Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
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