He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
