well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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