He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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