would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
