Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
