New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just googled if crying burns calories
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
