maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
