haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
