just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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