i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
