I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
So many bounce houses so little time
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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