I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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