He asked to "fluff my boner.."
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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